A mother's wish

I just read my Mom's blog (MemeLorie) and I noticed her sweet little count down clock on the right of her page. I am starting to get a little scared. The count down clock says that we have twelve weeks and three days left. I am excited and nervous at the same time if that is possible. In a short amount of time I will have three beautiful little ladies to care for. Sometimes I wonder if I am even capable of taking care of myself. God has definitely blessed me beyond that which I deserve. I hope that one day I will stand before him, and he will tell me that I did right by my girls. I hope that one day my children will be able to tell me that they remember some of the lessons that I hope I am teaching them. I hope above everything that they can feel a fraction of my love for them.

Look Back and Look Forward

After reading Dana's post I decided that it is very fitting to write today about our memories of September 11, 2001. I think that without looking back we lose our focus when moving forward. To think that it has been seven years today is a little overwhelming. I can only imagine what it would have been like to be Liz Glick and Lisa Beaman or any of the countless other women left by their husbands that day so normally without any thought to what the next few minutes, hours, days, months, or even years would bring. Just to be a spectator was so painful, but as an American I guess we all share a small piece of the victimization.
It was Tuesday morning, and I was still asleep. Donny had I had been married for exactly one month and the future seemed very bright and limitless. I had a job interview that day, and I was very anxious. I was taking classes on the arsenal through my university (Athens State) so for the first time in my life I was going onto the arsenal daily. Mom called and woke us up and told us to turn on the TV. She could not even explain what was going on. As soon as I turned on the TV I knew that it was bad, yet I had no actual concept of how bad it really could get. Visions of the life I had planned and anticipated seemed to freeze only to be replaced by uncertainty and fear. My major in school was history so I was immersed in the study of conflict and if you have knowledge about any of the wars that we have been engaged in then the possibility of these events becoming a present day reality is crippling. To have conflict on American Soil was so far fetched to anyone of my generation, almost unthinkable. One of my classes was actually in Middle Eastern History so most of the names and faces that would soon become known to everyone else in the nation via our headline news educations were somewhat familiar to me. For the first time in my lifetime I felt vulnerable to the presence of outside opposition... would these madmen bomb the arsenal, would troops come marching on our soil. Incident after incident the fear that I felt grew and multiplied.
The TV was no longer a source of entertainment for me and my husband with the countless retellings of the fateful day and the pictures of our brothers and sisters covered in ash and sadness. Each time that I saw the image of the planes flying into the towers my heart felt the same blow almost like it took my breath away, and I think that if and when I see the images even now I would feel the same. Thank God that the worst did not get any worse in terms of more attacks since 9-11, but I pray that we never let our guard down. I feel that we should also be thankful for the steadfast leadership of our president, and give him the credit that he deserves for guiding his country through the unthinkable. George W. Bush may not be remembered for being a modern day Abe Lincoln, but he did what he had to do and I am glad that he was there to lead us through that time in history. President Bush should also be remembered for helping to keep our nation safe in the time since 9-11.. in a world that we thought we would never live in.

A thankfull heart

Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes for Donny. He had test yesterday at the Heart Center, and every thing looked good. The doctor will call tomorrow with the actual results. We are all tired, but happy to be together. I am waiting for inspiration for my next blog..until then.

Daddy is out numbered for sure!!

Add one more girl to the tribe!! Today we found out that the baby is indeed a she, and boy is she! She had her little legs wide open for the world to see. She even managed to do a few little tricks for her siblings! Baby now needs a name. If anyone has any suggestions for a sweet little girl name I need your help. We can't figure out what we like best! If we use your name..I will have to think of something cool to do.

Hunter's Journey

If you have some time check out little Hunter in this video that his Mom made for him to take to school. It must be hard for other kids to understand what he has been through. He is truely a special child, and an inspiration to me.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7903980344794578631&hl=en

I cried the whole time to think that a little person had to go through this yet he still has so much hope. Praise God for his clean bill of health, and for his recent baptism.

The Broken Jar, Part 1

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast more gladly about my weaknesses, so that God's power may rest upon me. That is why for Christ sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. II Cor. 12:9-10

This is my prayer, it came to me in the darkness of the early morning hours.
I am a broken jar. Paul says in II Corinthians that we are like jars of clay, highly ordinary and very breakable. Still despite this truth God has chosen to store his truth in me and bless me beyond that which I deserve.
Lately things have been especially trying for me internally, but this is just a excerpt from the journey. I am calling this my crazy pregnancy (no disrespect to my unborn angel, just a commentary on the state of Mommy's emotions). Those that are very close to me may not be extremely surprised. You have seen me unravel like a ball of yarn emotionally many times over the past two years more often than not. I am living with the realization that I am human, therefore I am far from perfection. I often get overwhelmed with motherhood and all that it entails, not because I do not enjoy my children-they ARE my existence. I just often feel like someone has handed me the plans to a beautiful mansion and said, "BUILD IT!"
In future posts I will elaborate on some of the words that have been put into my heart. I think that there must be a purpose for sharing them or else I just couldn't do it. Until then, thank you to all the other women that allow me to see through your blogs about REAL life that we do not have all the answers, and that is ok. In the mean time I will be working on putting the jar back together with help from my father.

Mommygirl lives....

If this blog relationship seems one sided I apologize. Life has taken me far away from the computer lately. The kids are growing, and I am growing too. I think that it maybe a whole lot cuter when the kids gain weight! I was recently blessed with a wonderful surprise birthday present from my husband and Meme and Papa.. a new laptop. Maybe with my new toy blogging and motherhood with cross paths more often, but do not hold your breath (unless of course your name is David Blaine).
Tonight I told my friend Anna that writing has not come very easily to me lately. Most of the things that I would have on my mind probably would not seem very entertaining to others.
Consider yourself warned..here comes Not so Deep thoughts by Mommygirl.

Here are a few of my favorite things. These things seem to get me through the hard days that really should not be hard, because I am blessed beyond belief.

The beautiful smiles of my daughters, an unexpected kiss from my husband, Jello (give me a break I am pregnant so you know that some of my favorite things will be food!), seeing good things happen to good people, watching my children and my friends children grow up, having real conversations with my four year old, snuggling with my whole family, a variety of very eclectic TV shows that I tivo, calls from my favorite women (Mom this includes you), and learning from those older and wiser than me.
P.S.
Less than three weeks until we learn the gender of our little bean!!