Saturday, August 23, 2008

The Broken Jar, Part 1

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast more gladly about my weaknesses, so that God's power may rest upon me. That is why for Christ sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. II Cor. 12:9-10

This is my prayer, it came to me in the darkness of the early morning hours.
I am a broken jar. Paul says in II Corinthians that we are like jars of clay, highly ordinary and very breakable. Still despite this truth God has chosen to store his truth in me and bless me beyond that which I deserve.
Lately things have been especially trying for me internally, but this is just a excerpt from the journey. I am calling this my crazy pregnancy (no disrespect to my unborn angel, just a commentary on the state of Mommy's emotions). Those that are very close to me may not be extremely surprised. You have seen me unravel like a ball of yarn emotionally many times over the past two years more often than not. I am living with the realization that I am human, therefore I am far from perfection. I often get overwhelmed with motherhood and all that it entails, not because I do not enjoy my children-they ARE my existence. I just often feel like someone has handed me the plans to a beautiful mansion and said, "BUILD IT!"
In future posts I will elaborate on some of the words that have been put into my heart. I think that there must be a purpose for sharing them or else I just couldn't do it. Until then, thank you to all the other women that allow me to see through your blogs about REAL life that we do not have all the answers, and that is ok. In the mean time I will be working on putting the jar back together with help from my father.


Debbie said...

I was really glad to see you had another post. You are a sweetheart and a wonderful mommy.

Lorie said...

Hey sweet girl this made me think of one of my favorite ladies and a day on her blog-go read this
I love you!

Misty said...

I certainly understand your struggles. God's granted us enormous blessings and an enormous task in raising our kids. It is often quite overwhelming for me and I wonder if I'm doing it right. (whatever right is??!!) You're obviously doing a great job, though. Your kids are fantastic!

Life on the farm... said...

I still wonder the same things,now they are big enough to answer the questions. When I ask them where did I go wrong,they tell me I didn't,..that they have always known they were loved,and knew that they were the number one priorty in our lives... but that the mistakes they make are their own choices! hmm okay.. but why do I question myself anyway!