The Broken Jar, Part 1

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast more gladly about my weaknesses, so that God's power may rest upon me. That is why for Christ sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. II Cor. 12:9-10

This is my prayer, it came to me in the darkness of the early morning hours.
I am a broken jar. Paul says in II Corinthians that we are like jars of clay, highly ordinary and very breakable. Still despite this truth God has chosen to store his truth in me and bless me beyond that which I deserve.
Lately things have been especially trying for me internally, but this is just a excerpt from the journey. I am calling this my crazy pregnancy (no disrespect to my unborn angel, just a commentary on the state of Mommy's emotions). Those that are very close to me may not be extremely surprised. You have seen me unravel like a ball of yarn emotionally many times over the past two years more often than not. I am living with the realization that I am human, therefore I am far from perfection. I often get overwhelmed with motherhood and all that it entails, not because I do not enjoy my children-they ARE my existence. I just often feel like someone has handed me the plans to a beautiful mansion and said, "BUILD IT!"
In future posts I will elaborate on some of the words that have been put into my heart. I think that there must be a purpose for sharing them or else I just couldn't do it. Until then, thank you to all the other women that allow me to see through your blogs about REAL life that we do not have all the answers, and that is ok. In the mean time I will be working on putting the jar back together with help from my father.