A mother's wish

I just read my Mom's blog (MemeLorie) and I noticed her sweet little count down clock on the right of her page. I am starting to get a little scared. The count down clock says that we have twelve weeks and three days left. I am excited and nervous at the same time if that is possible. In a short amount of time I will have three beautiful little ladies to care for. Sometimes I wonder if I am even capable of taking care of myself. God has definitely blessed me beyond that which I deserve. I hope that one day I will stand before him, and he will tell me that I did right by my girls. I hope that one day my children will be able to tell me that they remember some of the lessons that I hope I am teaching them. I hope above everything that they can feel a fraction of my love for them.

Look Back and Look Forward

After reading Dana's post I decided that it is very fitting to write today about our memories of September 11, 2001. I think that without looking back we lose our focus when moving forward. To think that it has been seven years today is a little overwhelming. I can only imagine what it would have been like to be Liz Glick and Lisa Beaman or any of the countless other women left by their husbands that day so normally without any thought to what the next few minutes, hours, days, months, or even years would bring. Just to be a spectator was so painful, but as an American I guess we all share a small piece of the victimization.
It was Tuesday morning, and I was still asleep. Donny had I had been married for exactly one month and the future seemed very bright and limitless. I had a job interview that day, and I was very anxious. I was taking classes on the arsenal through my university (Athens State) so for the first time in my life I was going onto the arsenal daily. Mom called and woke us up and told us to turn on the TV. She could not even explain what was going on. As soon as I turned on the TV I knew that it was bad, yet I had no actual concept of how bad it really could get. Visions of the life I had planned and anticipated seemed to freeze only to be replaced by uncertainty and fear. My major in school was history so I was immersed in the study of conflict and if you have knowledge about any of the wars that we have been engaged in then the possibility of these events becoming a present day reality is crippling. To have conflict on American Soil was so far fetched to anyone of my generation, almost unthinkable. One of my classes was actually in Middle Eastern History so most of the names and faces that would soon become known to everyone else in the nation via our headline news educations were somewhat familiar to me. For the first time in my lifetime I felt vulnerable to the presence of outside opposition... would these madmen bomb the arsenal, would troops come marching on our soil. Incident after incident the fear that I felt grew and multiplied.
The TV was no longer a source of entertainment for me and my husband with the countless retellings of the fateful day and the pictures of our brothers and sisters covered in ash and sadness. Each time that I saw the image of the planes flying into the towers my heart felt the same blow almost like it took my breath away, and I think that if and when I see the images even now I would feel the same. Thank God that the worst did not get any worse in terms of more attacks since 9-11, but I pray that we never let our guard down. I feel that we should also be thankful for the steadfast leadership of our president, and give him the credit that he deserves for guiding his country through the unthinkable. George W. Bush may not be remembered for being a modern day Abe Lincoln, but he did what he had to do and I am glad that he was there to lead us through that time in history. President Bush should also be remembered for helping to keep our nation safe in the time since 9-11.. in a world that we thought we would never live in.

A thankfull heart

Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes for Donny. He had test yesterday at the Heart Center, and every thing looked good. The doctor will call tomorrow with the actual results. We are all tired, but happy to be together. I am waiting for inspiration for my next blog..until then.

Daddy is out numbered for sure!!

Add one more girl to the tribe!! Today we found out that the baby is indeed a she, and boy is she! She had her little legs wide open for the world to see. She even managed to do a few little tricks for her siblings! Baby now needs a name. If anyone has any suggestions for a sweet little girl name I need your help. We can't figure out what we like best! If we use your name..I will have to think of something cool to do.

Hunter's Journey

If you have some time check out little Hunter in this video that his Mom made for him to take to school. It must be hard for other kids to understand what he has been through. He is truely a special child, and an inspiration to me.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7903980344794578631&hl=en

I cried the whole time to think that a little person had to go through this yet he still has so much hope. Praise God for his clean bill of health, and for his recent baptism.

The Broken Jar, Part 1

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast more gladly about my weaknesses, so that God's power may rest upon me. That is why for Christ sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. II Cor. 12:9-10

This is my prayer, it came to me in the darkness of the early morning hours.
I am a broken jar. Paul says in II Corinthians that we are like jars of clay, highly ordinary and very breakable. Still despite this truth God has chosen to store his truth in me and bless me beyond that which I deserve.
Lately things have been especially trying for me internally, but this is just a excerpt from the journey. I am calling this my crazy pregnancy (no disrespect to my unborn angel, just a commentary on the state of Mommy's emotions). Those that are very close to me may not be extremely surprised. You have seen me unravel like a ball of yarn emotionally many times over the past two years more often than not. I am living with the realization that I am human, therefore I am far from perfection. I often get overwhelmed with motherhood and all that it entails, not because I do not enjoy my children-they ARE my existence. I just often feel like someone has handed me the plans to a beautiful mansion and said, "BUILD IT!"
In future posts I will elaborate on some of the words that have been put into my heart. I think that there must be a purpose for sharing them or else I just couldn't do it. Until then, thank you to all the other women that allow me to see through your blogs about REAL life that we do not have all the answers, and that is ok. In the mean time I will be working on putting the jar back together with help from my father.

Mommygirl lives....

If this blog relationship seems one sided I apologize. Life has taken me far away from the computer lately. The kids are growing, and I am growing too. I think that it maybe a whole lot cuter when the kids gain weight! I was recently blessed with a wonderful surprise birthday present from my husband and Meme and Papa.. a new laptop. Maybe with my new toy blogging and motherhood with cross paths more often, but do not hold your breath (unless of course your name is David Blaine).
Tonight I told my friend Anna that writing has not come very easily to me lately. Most of the things that I would have on my mind probably would not seem very entertaining to others.
Consider yourself warned..here comes Not so Deep thoughts by Mommygirl.

Here are a few of my favorite things. These things seem to get me through the hard days that really should not be hard, because I am blessed beyond belief.

The beautiful smiles of my daughters, an unexpected kiss from my husband, Jello (give me a break I am pregnant so you know that some of my favorite things will be food!), seeing good things happen to good people, watching my children and my friends children grow up, having real conversations with my four year old, snuggling with my whole family, a variety of very eclectic TV shows that I tivo, calls from my favorite women (Mom this includes you), and learning from those older and wiser than me.
P.S.
Less than three weeks until we learn the gender of our little bean!!

Another year older....

I am tired, yet I can't seem to go to sleep. Maybe this is what happens when you start to get older. Even when I try to rest there are things that seem like they are just waiting to be done! Lately I have lots on my mind...where do I even start?
It is true that today I did turn 28 (closer to the big 30), but with every birthday that passes it feels kind of silly to keep celebrating them from my stand point. I am not trying to sound pessimistic. I am really not at all phased by the turning of the clock on my life or my youth. I just kind of think that birthday parties are for people under 21, big numbers (30, 40, 50, etc), or really old people! I love to celebrate the birthdays of others, but I do not think that I will ever feel comfortable sitting in front of other people opening up gifts. It is really not my thing! I feel like my friends and family are my gifts! Tonight my wonderful husband had decided to invite some of my favorite peeps over for a cookout. We always do it up here at our house like Thanksgiving day. Can you tell by my verbiage that I was raised in HG? Yeah, I thought so.
We all had fun, and I was surrounded by lots of my favorite people and their little people. Once everyone had left I laid down next to Emma on the couch to love on her a little. I was reminded of my 23rd birthday. This birthday fell two months to the day before Emma was born. I told Emma about the ice cream cake that Daddy had gotten Mommy that day, and going out to eat "where they cook in front of you with the fire." Emma loves these places, and she suspects now that she surely took a liking to them in utero. Even though that was more simple time in my life I am amazed by the blessings that have been given to me in the past five years...new friendships, experiences, changes and of course my beautiful babies. This made me excited about all God has in store for the future. If you really read all my rambling just now, thank you, you are very patient!!
Good night!

It has been an interesting week so Mommygirl daily has turned into Mommygirl weekly. Last night I had the pleasure of going out with some other ladies from church to celebrate the impending birth of a friends twin sons! When I think about two babies at one time my head starts to spin! I believe that it is safe to say that we enjoyed ourselves very much, but I found it interesting that most of the conversations revolved around our families! Isn't it funny that you get a bunch of Moms out of the house, and that is all they want to talk about. It was definitely a far cry from glamorized Girl's Night Out scenes from Sex in the City, but praise God that it was! We did happen to share stories about sagging breasts and projectile poop! Never a dull moment when you are hanging out with friends! The girls stayed with their Nana Sara for the first time and had a tea party where they got to drink from Nana's fancy china. Emma proclaimed on the way home that she had an, "incredible time at Nana's!" Tea Parties are the new High School Musical in our home now. I am trying to think of a way to have them more often without losing my mind! Thanks for all the extemely encouraging comments! Until next time..

Another day, Another self made drama....

You may be starting to figure out that my pregnancy hormones are in overdrive. My house is a disaster area (I know, what is new), my car is filthy (I will let Maria tell you about that one :), and my laundry is piled high. After church today we decided to take a little drive around the surrounding area to look for property for our soon to be expanding clan. The prospect of change seems refreshing even welcomed, but after today I am not so sure. Decisions are not something that I enjoy making these days, and especially if we are talking big ones!! What can be bigger than where you live!! I am optimistic that everything will work itself out in the wash so to speak.
I am happy to report that I survived Friday nights slumber party, and a Saturday night Football Game with my husband. It seems like a lot of people I know are facing major dilemmas. I am reminding myself to stop and smell the roses more.
Friday afternoon Anna wanted me to rock her to sleep at nap time. I was reminded of how the simplest act can turn into the biggest blessing. There is nothing more precious than holding your sleeping child in your arms. She was covered with Doritos dust from her afternoon snack, and everything about her looked perfect. These are the moments that I never want to forget as long as I lived. So.....rock your children to sleep because one day they will be too big. If they are already too big then go into their rooms and lay down next to them while they are sleeping and remember what that blessing feels like!

Today is a new day..

Since yesterday was long and drawn out today will be short and sweet. Thank you Michelle for my beautiful new layout. Color makes me happy. Thanks Mom for thinking of me and sharing. Tonight is Princess Party Night at home. Pray that I survive!! I am still unpacking from all the craziness, and probably will be for another month. Kids today have to much stuff!! I sound like a sixty year old (no offense to any 60 year old readers). Nap time is probably almost over so I am off to make the most of it!

You are a wise one grasshopper...

I am the first to admit that my initial post was a wee bit on the melancholy side, but for good reason. Anyone who knows me hopefully will tell you that my family is my life, and maybe sometimes to a fault. I eat, sleep, and breathe my children (that comes naturally from Mom- aka. Meme Lorie and my Nana Sara). My husband is wonderful. I guess that I would call him the icing on my cake. There are times when I feel that God must have a miraculous sense of humor, because we are polar opposites. He likes to spend, and I like to save. He thrives on company, and my OCD kicks in to overdrive and I am scrubbing the floor on my hands and knees (some of you are rolling with insane laughter right now, because you can see my big booty in the air and a paper towel in my hand...lovely flashback I am sure). I think that you get the picture. The last three weeks have been anything but normal for me. My little family has subsequently been divided multiple times for various reasons we call life (work, travel, vacation, time with Grandma in Florida, etc.). The division of my family was not an easy pill for this hormonal MommyGirl to swallow. Praise God that we are all back in the same place and will remain that way for the foreseeable future.
During my time away I had the chance to go to church with my Mother-in-law. The girls and I welcomed the opportunity since we have been away from our church for several weeks. The sermon focused on the parable of the laborers in the vineyard. NOTE: Please forgive my lack of biblical knowledge..I have no idea where this is located in the bible, but I was listening and thinking so I guess that has to count for something. It is my understanding that Jesus used this story to illustrate his point to the disciples when they were asking what their special rewards would be for serving him on earth. The story is about a vineyard owner who starts his day agreeing to pay anyone that works for him over the course of a day one dollar. As the day goes on the man continues to recruit workers up until the last hour of daylight. At the end of the day he pays all of the workers their wage of one dollar despite whether or not they had worked one hour or the entire day. As you may well imagine this did not sit well with the laborers that had slaved the day away for him, but this is what he decided to do. Sometimes I feel this way in my daily life...whether I am doing something for another person or a cause that is important to me. I think that it is human nature to sometimes feel a little used or under appreciated. This sermon allowed me to see that although I may not intentionally be trying to keep score or receive reciprocation for an act of kindness I am human..translation I am not perfect. I also will continue to do things even when I may not receive anything in return because that is who I am (this does not make me special..it just makes me..me). Hopefully, whenever you feel slighted or like all your efforts maybe in vain you will remember that the actions of others should have no bearing on who you are, and that God would have us to share his love and blessings. Thank you to all my friends and family who are always there to help pick up the slack. Didn't Billary (sorry:) say that it takes a village.
Today I am grateful for the friendship of wonderful christian women and the blessing of my family. My family (minus me) were all asleep by 7:30pm..nothing short of a miracle. This little treat allowed me to attend my first blog party. ValarieLea is the grasshopper of the group. I am hoping to learn from my fellow bloggers, and begin to make this interesting for other people to read.
There is my daily dose of bloggeriah!! Until next time..

Here we go...

The day has come for me to follow the footsteps of the ones that have come before me. What brings me here? I am here to attempt to make since of the daily happenings of motherhood, family relationships, friendship, marriage, and the world around me (all of which generally perplex me from time to time). I am going to try and use this site as my means of daily therapy. Hopefully if anyone decides to read these posts, either by accident or on purpose, they may feel more affirmed in their feelings and thoughts (in other words you are either going to get it or confirm that I may in fact be insane). I chose the name Mommygirl because I think it is reflective of where I am in my life right now. I am beginning my third pregnancy, going on seven years of marriage, the mother of two amazing girls, and despite all of this I still feel like a girl sometimes...just waiting to come into my own. I am not sure whether or not anyone ever becomes 100% confident in making all the decisions that are required of us as parents, spouses, children, and friends. All that I am sure of is that I am a work in progress. I have faith that God has a plan for me even if I have no idea what it is. Enjoy the ride, but buckle up it can get kind of bumpy around here!